Happiness

I had an AHA moment today. We are currently in the midst of a teaching series at my church about happiness – the ancient wisdom of happiness, to be specific. A lot of the teaching comes from Proverbs and Psalms and the basic gist of it is that the ancients had a much better idea of what brings happiness than we do. The tie in to us moderns is that fairly recently, the scientific study of the psychology of happiness has come into its own….and the psychologists are finding that the things they’ve discovered that create happiness just happen to be the same things ancient writings recommend. Today, we looked deeper at “acts of kindness”. The basic lesson was that people who give sacrificially (and we aren’t just talking money, not at all) are just plain happier. AND that in our modern world, to really give and make a difference, we often have to join together with other people in our acts of kindness. (The environment was the example used – the things that we can do as individuals can seem totally insignificant but if we as a group start treating our environment with kindness, you can see a real difference being made). So, what was the AHA?

ICAN. Of course :-) I’ve recently changed my role with ICAN somewhat – I’ve stepped down from my job as the email list administrator and am concentrating solely on my advocacy work. And while I’m in no way minimizing how important the email list is (it’s a life line for many women) I’ve never been happier in my ICAN work than I am right now. Because I can see, as I work with the other dedicated women who are really giving sacrificially to ICAN (and the women and babies we serve) that we can make a difference, we ARE making a difference. But it wasn’t without sacrifice that I got to this point – in a very real way, giving up the email list was a personal sacrifice for me…the time I spend on line and on the phone and at meetings….that’s a sacrifice. And of course, it’s the sacrifice that brings the happiness. This isn’t just some spiritual/religious thing – this is supported by actual scientific research. Giving makes you happy, sure. But giving enough that you *notice* -- enough that something is given up in return, that’s one ticket to true happiness. It combats depression, it motivates good self care, it just does all sorts of really good stuff. Giving sacrificially with a group creates a community, a bond, a purpose that nothing else will.

The other part of the AHA was basically the same realization about my job – I’m working more hours and giving more of myself but its so completely different from my last job – I’m part of a team that’s completely committed to providing the best Veterinary care possible, to making a real difference, better than anyone else. That feels good. I suppose the combination of my job and ICAN are why, right now, I feel happier than I have in a very long time, in spite of the other things in my life that do anything but create happiness.

So – want to be happier? Want that happiness to last? Want to be in community and make a difference? It really isn’t that hard…but it does require sacrifice….money, time, energy….but the payoff is SO worth it. I’d love for ICAN to be the recipient of your sacrifice but heck, at least give it somewhere – to the homeless, to working with at-risk kids, to environmental causes, Heifer Project, Katrina relief, Habitat for Humanity, HIV/AIDs. Give up something to get back something you can’t have any other way.

Cesareans and Private Insurance

I'd started to work on this project but then life happened and it got put on the back burner. But then it happened to a good friend. So its not on the back burner anymore.

Turns out, if you are looking to get private insurance (you know, the kind that isn't provided by your employer, or the govt., the kind that some politicos want to give you tax breaks or special savings plans to buy) you might well be denied coverage if you've had a cesarean within the past 5 years. Why? Well, because there are too many complications in that time, after that surgery. Interesting. But its just another way, a better way, to have a baby. Even better, if you do agree to surgical sterilization, they'll go ahead and cover you. (So basically, I think the complications they are worried about are future pregnancies and the repeat cesarean that they know you'll likely have, whether you need one or not). Because its so politically risky, insurance companies are not allowed to mandate a TOL (trial of labor) or VBAC, and understandably, they don't want to pay for a bunch of expensive repeat surgeries that aren't necessary most of the time. So, because this is a market economy at times, they just don't provide their service to women with previous cesareans. I don't blame them.

But I have to wonder if anyone is warning women about this unforseen longterm complication of having a cesarean? Oh, it doesn't really matter if you don't have to have private insurance. But depending on the outcome of the current bickering about health care, that might be just exactly what a lot of people have to get. Except a pretty good number of them won't qualify....unless they are willing to undergo surgical sterilization, of course. Is that offensive to anyone other than me?

The great part is, I'm not just ranting about this. I already have one very motivated woman who is really pissed off about this. I need a few more. Who would be willing to talk to the media. It is distinctly possible that this could become a national story...if we find at least 3 women, with good documentation of the insurance policies and the refusal, who are willing to talk about it. And if its spun well, it'll really highlight what a disaster the 30+% cesarean rate really is, in ways that most people haven't even contemplated. So, if you are one of these women, please contact me. Ask around, see if you know anyone who's had this happen, who'd talk to me. Email me, please!

From the Horse's Mouth

A story, a really true story.

I was talking to a good friend of mine this morning, we've known each other for about 17 years now (yikes!). Her sister is pregnant for the first time. Her sister is a recovering anorectic (this pertains to one of the horses in this story). So my friend, we'll call her A (we'll call her sister L) says to me "L has decided that she's unhappy with her OB group. She knows there's no guarentee that she'll even know the OB who's on when she goes into labor and she's trying to not let that bother her but it really does. L really really really doesn't want a cesarean and she's afraid she's going to end up with one. I told her that if she was unhappy, she'd better switch because she needed to listen to her instincts." (A has listened to me rant over the years, plus she's experienced a couple of pretty different births herself). I asked "so what happened?" I'll give the horses some credit for being honest....

L was VERY up front with the OB group she was seeing about the fact that she was a recovering anorectic. She told them "do not make comments about my weight, do not say anything about my weight, this is difficult but I'm committed to being healthy, etc etc etc". So, at her 5 month appt, the OB (a mare) says "oh, you've gained too much weight". I'm going to assume that she didn't bother to read the record, not that she's that callous and stupid to boot.

At her 6 month appointment, she sees the senior partner, a stallion, who she really doesn't like at all. She says to him "when can I see the CNM?" (turns out there's a CNM attached to this practice). He says "You don't want to see the CNM, she's really not into delivering babies." HUH? Certified Nurse MIDWIFE isn't into catching babies? Or not allowed to....anyway, he continues: "Actually, none of us are interested in delivering babies. We don't want to get up at 2 am and come in while you have your baby."

::jaw drops::

Like I said, I'll give 'em credit for being honest. Honest horses' asses. Who no doubt belong to the American College of OBSTETRICIANS and Gynecologists, good old ACOG.

Merriam Webster has the following definition:
ob·stet·rics
Pronunciation:
\əb-ˈste-triks, äb-\
Function:
noun plural but singular or plural in construction
Date: circa 1819
: a branch of medical science that deals with birth and with its antecedents and sequels

Oh, wait, but not at 2 am.

At 7 mos, L is interviewing an independent CNM practice, with 4 midwives. I'm sure she's going to be shocked at the difference in her care. I also recommended a doula and I hope she does find one she clicks with. Here's hoping.