tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7893776013981306327.post5556177362661185519..comments2023-05-31T03:14:01.234-07:00Comments on Birth Matters: Ramblings of a bored VeterinarianGretchenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17403871174302897516noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7893776013981306327.post-1044988103532089752007-11-22T21:35:00.000-08:002007-11-22T21:35:00.000-08:00Maybe it would be better to say its a rationalizat...Maybe it would be better to say its a rationalization than an excuse. I think its basically the same problem as the whole submission thing -- the woman KNOWS what the best decision would be but rather than choosing to make a difficult or uncomfortable decision, she finds an external "reason" why she can't follow the path her heart/spirit is prompting her to walk. Effectively, she's refusing to deal with the deeper and more true reason for her choice (for many different reasons, some of which may be quite compelling. Doesn't make it "ok" though). The baby does "belong" (as much as any child can actually belong to us) to both parents...and yes, the marriage is (supposed) to be a give and take relationship of mutual love and respect, etc....but again...would it be right to allow one's spouse to dictate an unethical or immoral decision just to "preserve" the relationship? Is that a relationship that deserves preserving? I have a lot more respect for woman who says "look, I'm just not comfortable with the idea of a homebirth" because at least then I know she is being honest...and that's the first step toward facing and overcoming fears that keep us from doing things we ought to be doing.<BR/><BR/>I am VERY thankful that I didn't have to deal with a husband who was opposed to my plans...I know he was scared and we talked about that....but the fact that he trusted me to make the decision that I thought the safest really strengthened and deepened our marriage bond. I really feel sad for women who are in conflict with their spouses over birth plans....but when it comes down to it, I have to trust that in the end, God picked that particular woman for that particular child and in the end, if she's listening, she's the one who'll know what needs to happen. No one else is as intimate with that unborn child and no one has a higher stake in the outcome, for the child and the mother. Too often, I've seen women decide to "submit" in order to keep peace in the marriage, but the thing is, the struggle, the pain, the price HAS to be paid...you can fight for the safest birth or you can fight to regain trust/peace/love AFTER you get cut again...one way or another, the struggle has to be made...the tally of "biblically submissive wives" that end up divorced from just my own experience is depressingly high...<BR/><BR/>and hey, I didn't even have turkey today but I still feel like my brain is in slow motion :-)Gretchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17403871174302897516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7893776013981306327.post-41808343532452008662007-11-22T20:59:00.000-08:002007-11-22T20:59:00.000-08:00I agree with what you are saying about submission....I agree with what you are saying about submission. And I'm surprised that more Christian women haven't figured out that unnecessary surgery goes against God's will for us. Talk about desecrating the temple . . .<BR/><BR/>Hmm, I hadn't really thought about whether or not a woman's decision not to proceed with HABC plans (or whatever) should be called an "excuse". I will say that it would be incredibly stressful and difficult if my husband were to disagree with my wishes for future birth. I know it's "my body" and all, but it's "our" relationship. Guess that works both ways, eh? I've had way too much turkey to think this one through... ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com